the time of my life

Disclaimer : this is probably the most emo-shit post ever. don't read if you're not interested.

May is the toughest month, by far.

Why?

The first week of May was fine, and I'll never ever forget Monday, 7th of May 2012. That is one of the best day in my life. But come 11th May, everything went wrong. Everything. He decided to break up. Honestly, up until now, I still didn't understand the reason behind his decision. And I guess I choose not wanting to understand, cause if I do try to, I know it will hurt, freaking much. It's okay, though. We're best friends now, again, and that's fine for us. The break up was very hard for me. It's real tough to get over it. Allah is really testing me. It's okay, I will always try to accept everything with an open heart, and with positive thinking. Cause that's the only way for my tears to subside, for me to carve a smile again, and to get over it. It's hard, not gonna lie bout that, but eventually, I can do it, although not 100%, but still. All thanks to Allah's help, and my very supportive family and friends.

Besides that, I'm moving to Negeri Sembilan. This. This is very, very undeniably hard. I cried a lot for this one. I even accidentally made my sis merajuk teruk with me, all because of this. Moving out of Kinrara. Nobody will ever understand how I feel. This is the place where I grew up. A loooooooootttttttttssss of memories are made here. And now I have to leave. The next time I'm visiting this house, things will never be the same anymore. I can't call it my home anymore. I honestly do not want this to happen. Not even for the next thousand years. I really, really, really love this house. I don't care if it's a wreck and there's a lot of damages. I love this house. This is my home, the place I wanted to be, after a long tiring day. Nobody, not even you, the one reading this, will ever understand, just how much I love my home.

And now come another goodbye. I'm going to further my studies to UiTM Segamat. Oh. My. Dear. God. Do you know how hard things are for me? Nope you don't know. This one is like, cherry on top of 'the sundae of sorrows'. This is going to be very, very, very, triple times harder for me. I'm going to a place where nobody even knows me. Everyone's a stranger. Dammit. How am I gonna trust people? How am I gonna choose who to trust? How am I gonna adapt to that place? Can I make it? How long will it take me to fit in? There's just too many questions, that even I myself can't answer. Gonna have to wait, and just see how it will go. Arrghhh this is hard.. I've never been away from my family for more longer than a week. Now I'm gonna have to say goodbye to them? OMG NO!!! That would be the last thing I would want to do. I'm gonna miss my family very, very, very badly. Allah, please make me strong.

See, told you May's been a tough one.